


let our hearts be the only sound

by niallhoranbitches



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M, but it lacks the +1, but it's all good, it was supposed to be a 5+1 fic, teeny tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 05:26:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16079363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niallhoranbitches/pseuds/niallhoranbitches
Summary: No matter how hard he could try, it was impossible to remember all those times he had heard "I love you" coming from Zayn's lips. It simply happened too often. But Niall was more than certain that there would never be a time when he gets bored of hearing that. A time when he gets bored of that warm feeling it caused. Yet there still were some moments, some late night talks that stayed in Niall's memory. And—even though he valued each time just as much as the first one—they seemed to have a special place in his heart.





	let our hearts be the only sound

**Author's Note:**

> Basically what happened here is that I've got a prompt from my Jules that said "Ziall + I love yous whispered in the dark" and I got carried away a bit (a lot). I only like half of it but my ma said it's dope so let her have it.

The first time Niall remembered was when he was going to sleep. It was way after midnight, he just had a shower and headed to bed. He tried to calculate how many hours of sleep he still had, assuming that he'd be able to fall asleep in the next half an hour. It seemed enough for him not to feel like a zombie at work the next day. Maybe he would even have a minute or two to look at the night sky.

Making sure the front door was locked, he picked up his mobile, abandoned on the couch a while ago. On his way to the bedroom, Niall checked his notifications. A smile appeared on his face, when he realised that he had a new message from Zayn, which was a bit surprising. Niall just assumed that his boyfriend was already asleep. Besides he wasn't really expecting a text from him, considering the fact that they had spent almost all day together. But it was nice.

It was nice and exciting, this whole thing. However, also a bit scary at the same time. He and Zayn were best friends for ages and there was that specific uncertainty in switching from a friendship to a relationship. So far it was all going great, but there was still the slight shadow of fear that this wouldn't work out, destroying what they had got so far along the way. Niall hated that feeling. Luckily, it wasn’t that hard to squish that anxiety and push it to the back of his mind, because every time he thought about Zayn, he felt like a moonstruck teenager.

**From: Zayn**   
hey are u asleep xx

**From: Me**   
not yet . why ?

The answer was almost immediate. However, it hadn't been sent via text to Niall's phone. Just a few seconds after he answered his boyfriend’s message, there was a knock on the door. It seemed oddly familiar for two reasons. First—because it sounded like Anna's knock from  _ Frozen _ and second because that was exactly how Zayn knocked every time since they had seen the movie together AND did an outstanding duet of  _ Love Is An Open Door _ —it was a shame there was no one to capture this. 

Standing up from the bed he had just plonked down onto, Niall left his bedroom to get to the door. Even though he had a pretty solid suspicion of who was on the other side, he was still surprised after looking through the peep-hole. Furrowing his brows, Niall opened the door.

“What are you doing here?”

Despite the surprise, Niall had to bite down a smile, seeing Zayn standing at his doorstep. He was dressed in a huge hoodie, hanging down almost to his knees and it would probably look ridiculous on anyone else, but Zayn was somehow able to pull that off pretty amazingly. There was a middle-sized bundle in his arms. On Zayn’s face, lit up by the dim light coming from the inside of Niall’s flat, was a small—a bit unsure—smile, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip.

"Actually—” Zayn started with a little laugh and then shrugged. "I'm not sure. But I kept thinking how you were gushing about that falling stars thing and that your building has this exit to the rooftop and that maybe we could go there? I know you have work in the morning but I just thought you might like that but if you'd rather go to sleep then I'll just—"

Zayn was never the one to babble, unless he was nervous. Listening to his stream of words and watching as he was anxiously playing with the bundle in his arms, Niall felt his cheeks hurt from how wide he was smiling. Shaking his head fondly, Niall grabbed his boyfriend's arm, tugging him inside. Niall wrapped his arms around Zayn, pressing a kiss to his forehead, before he leaned away so he could look at Zayn's face.

"I can't believe you, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," Niall said. "I'll go and get dressed, OK?"

Not even ten minutes later they were at the top of the staircase in Niall's building. A bit out of breath, Niall pushed at the heavy door. He was greeted by the chilly night air, but it wasn't bad enough to make him want to go back to his flat. Although, Niall sent a concerned look over his shoulder. Surprisingly, Zayn seemed fine.

"You won't be cold? I can bring you an extra hoodie or—"

Before he could even finish the sentence, Zayn shook his head with a laugh. "I'm already wearing two. And I've brought a blanket," he said, lifting slightly the bundle in his arms.

"Ahh, so you've came prepared I see," Niall smiled, letting Zayn through the door.

As it turned out, Zayn had brought not one blanket, but two—one to lay on the ground and the second one so they could cover themselves. He came  _ really  _ prepared. Niall felt all warm inside and it wasn't exactly thanks to the blankets.

"So... what are we watching tonight?"

They were laying on their backs, as comfortable as laying on the concrete surface could be, Zayn's head on Niall's chest. Wrapping an arm around his boyfriend, Niall looked up. The sky wasn't perfectly visible because of all the lights that surrounded them, but it was cloudless and still way better than from the window in his bedroom.

"The stars?" Niall mocked.

Even though it was dark, he was absolutely sure that Zayn had just rolled his eyes.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Zayn snickered. "But the falling things. Those are not stars, right?"

"No, those are meteors, like, shatters of a comet. A pretty big comet, around the size of the one that killed the dinosaurs, I think."

"That's not very... reassuring," Zayn said slowly.

With a small laugh, Niall shrugged, jostling his boyfriend's head a bit. "I think that's cool. And it's not like it will hit us this time, just pass by in a safe distance so we can wave at her and thank her for not wiping out the civilisation if there still would be any."

In response, Zayn chuckled, hiding his face in Niall's chest for a second, before resting his chin there.

"The way you talk about it all is—Oh my, you're such a dork, I love you."

It was too dark for Niall to really see Zayn's face. The fortunate part was that Zayn couldn't see his own beet-red one. Niall's cheeks burned from the force of his blush, caused just by the three little words. Three little words he had heard from Zayn for the first time since they had started dating.

"I'm—It's—I love you, too," Niall finally said, his mouth curling into a smile.

It was dark, but the light from the tiny light bulb above the door was reflecting in Zayn's eyes. Niall didn't care for the whole Universe filled with stars when he had Zayn's eyes looking back at him like that. 

With another chuckle, Zayn leaned down and to press a kiss to Niall's lips, before turning onto his back and looking at the sky.

"Can you find any constellations?" Zayn asked, as if nothing happened, making himself comfortable. "There's Ursa... something, right?"

Clearing his throat, Niall finally torn his gaze from Zayn and looked up at where his boyfriend was pointing.

"Yeah, that's Ursa Minor. And there," he took Zayn's hand and shifted it lower and a bit to the right, "there's Cassiopeia. The little W over there, see?"

***

The second time Niall remembered was when he was crying. He didn't know or care which time it was, the curtains successfully keeping the room dark. Laying on his bed, Niall's eyes were focused on the ceiling, even though he didn't see shit. Partially because it was dark and partially because his vision was too blurry from the tears. The pillow underneath his head was probably damp already. Niall was wiping his cheeks and swallowing down the sobs that threatened to escape from his mouth. It was pointless, though. It wasn't like anyone would heard him.

The flat was empty. Niall didn't want it to be, especially not today. He thought about all the food still laying on the kitchen table, involuntarily reminding himself that he should put it in the fridge before it goes bad. But even if he was itching to get up and do so, Niall convinced himself that he didn't care. He did, earlier. A few hours ago while preparing dinner, he was trying so hard for everything to be perfect. But it didn't matter. The already cold food, the dishes in the sink, the red wine he wouldn't normally buy, the still unlit candles. It all didn't matter.

Maybe it was stupid. Maybe Niall was being stupid or overly dramatic or whatever. Not everyone had to be as good at remembering dates as he was. And that was fine. It did felt a bit silly to be crying about an anniversary that your partner forgot about. But—silly or not—it still hurt.

It wasn't even like he had completely surprised Zayn with the invitation. The day before Niall texted him. Pretty casually he asked whether or not Zayn would have time to come by to Niall's in the afternoon. And Zayn—just as casually—said he was free and could be there around six. Which was perfect.

 

So as soon as Niall had came back from work, he started to prepare everything. He wasn't a messy person, so there wasn't much tidying up to do. Which was pretty convenient since the part Niall was the most stressed about was the cooking. He wasn't a great cook, but he wasn't completely hopeless in the kitchen, either. This time however, he was making samosas, for the first time in his life. They were Zayn's favourites. Niall had already found a recipe online a few days ago and even checked it with Zayn's mum. After some time, tons of frustrations and swearing, Niall got a hang of it and the samosas started to look—and taste—how they were supposed to.

Around five o'clock, he texted Zayn, asking if he'd be on time. The answer came almost half an hour later.

**From: Zayn**   
no, sorry bub! i was about to leave but it our supplier had some emergency and liam had to go and pick up the books by himself so i offered to go with him. idk how long it will take aha soz

Which was... fine. Niall sat by the table, staring at his phone and trying not to let his heart drop. It was great that Zayn was helping a friend. Quite unfortunately on his and Niall's anniversary, but it was OK. He could wait an extra hour or a half, no big deal. Or maybe this Liam thing was a lie and Zayn was preparing a surprise himself, too?

Either way, Niall understood. He was a bit sad, but he understood.

Deciding that the best way to deal with his nerves was to take a shower. It was already close to six so he should get ready anyway, not knowing when exactly Zayn could be here. Niall took a long shower, did his hair, put on the light-blue button-up he picked earlier. At quarter to seven he was all ready, but Zayn still wasn't there.

Going back to the kitchen, Niall realised with dread that he forgot about the dishes. He'd have to hide them in the dishwasher for now. But before he did that, he decided to call Zayn. When his boyfriend picked up, Niall's face fell a bit when he heard some loud background noises. That didn't sounded like they were picking up the supplies.

“Hey, babe, what's up?” Zayn asked happily.

“Where are you?”

“Liam invited me for a pint as a thank you for helping him with the delivery.”

“Oh.” Niall said. So no surprise for him, then.

Or actually he was plenty surprised, but not in a way he wanted to be.

“But—I thought you were coming over?” Niall tried not to sound as disappointed as he was feeling.

“Oh, I forgot, sorry. I can come a bit later, yeah?” Zayn asked, clearly unbothered.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Niall breathed out, not sure whether it was more to Zayn or to himself.

There was a moment of silence on the line. Niall heard some rustling and then everything quieted down, as if Zayn went outside.

“Are you really mad at me because I went out with a friend from work?” Zayn asked with disbelief.

“Wha—” Niall blinked, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I am mad. But not because you went out with a friend, what the fuck Zayn?”

“Then why?” Zayn raised his voice a bit. “I don't understand! OK, I told you I'd come after work and it's shitty of me that I forgot. But it's not like we had anything important to do, so I can come later. You don't have to be so fucking meticulous about everything, Niall.”

Gritting his teeth, Niall started to blink quicker, his vision going blurry. It was fine. Whole afternoon of working hard to make this evening perfect, wasn't anything important after all. He wasn't going to cry about that.

Niall cleared his throat to make sure his voice  won't be choked up when he spoke, “Yeah, you're right. I don't have to be,” Niall said. “And you know what, don't come. I—Don’t think I'm in the mood anyway. Have fun with Liam.”

“Nia—,” Zayn started, but before he could finish, Niall hung up.

And that was how he ended up crying in his bed on his and Zayn's first anniversary.

 

Some time later—Niall wasn't sure, it could be an hour or three—he heard someone putting the key in the lock of his front door. He had a pretty good guess who that could be. There were only two people that had the key to his apartment—Zayn and his mum. And it was rather unlikely for his mum to fly over from Ireland just to pay him a visit on a Friday night.

Taking a deep breath, Niall wiped his face and tried to calm down a bit. He heard Zayn entering the flat. He heard when Zayn put his jacket down and took of his shoes, before walking to the kitchen. Niall heard a quiet “fuck” that escaped Zayn’s mouth. A bitter smile appeared on Niall’s face.

Niall rolled onto his side, nuzzling his face into the pillow. He was more than sure that Zayn would be here within a second. Maybe if Niall pretended that he was asleep, Zayn would give up on trying to talk with him. 

Surprisingly, Zayn didn’t walk into the bedroom. Not right away, at least. Niall furrowed his brows, when he heard some quiet crashing and slamming coming from the kitchen. After a moment Niall realised that Zayn must had been cleaning up after him and putting away the food. Which was weird considering the fact he rarely put his mug in the sink after finishing tea. If Niall wasn’t feeling hurt, he’d even appreciate that. But he didn’t care.

Finally, there were footsteps down the tiny hall. Zayn stopped in front of the bedroom door for a moment, before knocking softly. Niall didn’t react.

The door opened with a quiet squeak. Zayn sighed and even though Niall was laying with his back to the entrance, he could feel Zayn’s eyes on him. They both knew he was awake, his breathing too erratic for Zayn to believe he was asleep.

“Love, I’m—,” Zayn started quietly. “I know it’s not enough, but I’m so sorry. I—Fuck. I should have remembered.”

Niall was laying still, not bothering to answer.

“I’m—Can I come closer?” Zayn asked. His voice sounded so small, as if he wasn’t expecting Niall to say yes.

Not trusting his voice—especially while his eyes were still stinging like that—Niall only shrugged. He wasn’t even sure whether Zayn saw it or not.

He must had seen it, because after a second or two the bed behind Niall’s back bent slightly when Zayn lay on it. For a moment he didn’t move, the only sounds in the room were their mixing breaths. Then, very slowly and hesitantly, Zayn reached out and put his hand on Niall’s back. Niall shuddered, but didn’t do anything else.

“I’m so incredibly sorry. You worked so hard and I acted like a complete prick. I’m so fucking bad at remembering dates. But that’s not an excuse. You are such a wonderful and thoughtful boyfriend and I can’t even—can’t even remember a single date. I wish I could turn back time and fix this.”

“It’s not your fault I’m fucking meticulous about everything,” Niall mumbled before he could bite his tongue.

“Niall, babe—,” Zayn whispered, shifting closer. His arm sneaked around Niall’s waist as Zayn rested his forehead against the back of Niall’s neck. “I love you. I love how meticulous you are and I’d die without you. I didn’t mean it in the bad way, I’m so sorry. Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do. You have all the right to be mad at me, I fucked up everything.”

Sighing—a bit shakily—Niall realised that he wasn’t really mad at Zayn. Hurt more like. He knew that he would forgive Zayn soon enough. Or had already forgave him.

“I can’t believe you made samosas for me,” Zayn whispered with a small laugh that didn’t sound happy. “I don’t deserve them.”

“No, you don’t,” Niall said, sniffling. “But you’re gonna fucking eat them anyway because I didn’t spend all thay in the kitchen for nothing.”

Zayn chuckled, his breath tickling at Niall’s neck through the collar of his shirt. “I’ll do anything, babe. I’m really, really sorry.”

Niall only sighed in response, still not wanting to turn away and face his boyfriend. Zayn didn’t push him, rubbing his thumb across Niall’s hand that was resting on his stomach. And Niall knew that he couldn’t be mad for long.

“Thank you for cleaning the kitchen,” Niall said quietly.

“It’s nothing. I know how you hate leaving it messy. It’s the least I could do,” Zayn shrugged.

“I’m—” Niall started, sniffling. “I’m not mad. Just hurt. Not so much anymore. I just wanted to—Just wanted to do something special, you know? I wasn’t really expecting you to remember, I know you don’t care about such things—”

Shifting closer, Zayn pressed a kiss to Niall’s neck and interrupted before Niall could finish the sentence, “But I should have. I should care about it, because you do. I should have remembered, because I knew it’s important to you. I’m really sorry I hurt you and then was a total arse about it.”

“You were a total arse, not gonna lie,” Niall agreed with a small chuckle. He sniffled again, turning his hand so he could entwine his fingers with Zayn’s. “And I love you, too. I don’t need anniversaries to know and say that.”

“I promise you our next anniversary is going to be absolutely incredible and I’ll take care of that,” Zayn squeezed his hand. “For now I can give you the “I’m-so-sorry-I’m-such-a-shitty-boyfriend-I’ll-do-anything-to-fix-that” kiss, if you’d like?”

Shaking his head fondly, Niall tried to clean the last traces of tears from his cheeks before he turned around. He could see Zayn’s hopeful face in the dim light coming from the hall. A small smile appeared on his lips.

“I’d really like that, I was hoping for tons of kisses today,” he said. “And you’re not a shitty boyfriend. We just have to, like, buy you a calendar or something.”

“We can work on that later, yeah,” Zayn nodded dutifully, although his eyes were skipping from Niall’s eyes to his lips. “Although, I think now we’d better work on making up for those lost kisses?”

“Yeah, let’s,” Niall mumbled, already leaning in.

***

The third time Niall remembered was when he was ready to give up. A single candle was the only source of light, its glow dancing on the walls. Niall stared at it, mindlessly.

Tiredness and frustration were making him want to scream or curl into a ball and sleep through this whole thing.

There was still so much things to do and each time they dealt with something, another problem appeared. Niall should had expected that this would be a stressful experience but he wasn't prepared for that.

Today they painted the kitchen and the tiny room that was supposed to be the bedroom. It was all going nice and smooth. At least until Niall knocked over the whole bucket of blue paint, making it spill all over the brand-new floorboards. It was the final straw for Niall today, making him have a little breakdown while he tried to clean this up as soon as possible, praying it wouldn't mess up with the floor. Zayn found him sniffling on the floor with paint stains all over him. Sitting down next to him and holding him close, Zayn said they should call it a day, because they both were too exhausted to keep going.

Niall didn't even try to argue.

Now he was sitting alone in the soon-to-be kitchen of their new flat, a faint smell of the drying paint still present in the room, even with the open window. Niall waited for Zayn to come back from the bathroom so they could go to Louis’ place that was their temporary home. With a sigh, Niall rubbed at his tired eyes.

“What's up, love?”

Niall didn't even bother to look up, his hand still covering his eyes. A resigned shrug was the only answer he gave Zayn.

“Come on, don't be like that,” Zayn chuckled, dropping on the floor in front of Niall. He wrapped his fingers around Niall's wrists and tugged gently. Bringing Niall's hands down, Zayn placed them on his lap, entwining their fingers. “What is it?”

“Maybe it was a bad idea,” Niall answered, sounding miserable even to his own ears.

A sigh escaped Zayn's mouth as he rubbed his thumbs across his boyfriend's palms.

“Don't say that,” he said. “Don't say that unless you really believe it, Niall.”

“I—,” Niall looked to his left at the rest of the apartment, bathed in darkness. “I'm just tired, Zayn. There is still so much work to do and I'm losing hope we can actually make it. So many things are going wrong and—I don't know maybe we should have listened to everyone who tried to talk us out of it.”

Zayn leaned a bit, resting his forehead against Niall's.

“I'm tired, too, love. I hate how slow it goes and how much it costs us. Sometimes I hate myself and you for making that decision. But then I think about the fact that soon we'll have our own apartment, made exactly the way we wanted, from the floorboards to the beddings in the bedroom and I'm so excited that I don't care how long would it take. I know that we are going to make it. We're fucking unstoppable.”

Niall chuckled, sniffling one more time and squeezing Zayn's hands a bit tighter. Pressing a small kiss to his boyfriend's lips, he nodded.

“You're right. I know we work it out. It's just—I really hope it ends soon. I can't wait to finally move in, I hate sitting on Louis’ head all the time,” Niall said with a sigh, but a small smile forming on his face.

“Actually…,” Zayn started with a grin. 

He didn't finish his sentence, though. Instead he stood up and used his grip on Niall's hands to hoist him up as well. Curious, Niall followed him down the dark and dusty hall. He was about to ask where they were going, but he found out soon enough.

They stopped in the entrance to the living room. Niall wondered when Zayn had cleaned it up and prepared everything. There was a big mattress with a blanket and two pillows laying on the floor. A bottle of cheap wine and two plastic cups were standing right next to them and the room was lit up by the little scented candles, scattered around the whole room.

“Wha—,” Niall started, looking over his shoulder at Zayn.

Standing behind him, Zayn wrapped his arms around Niall's waist and rested his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder.

“I figured that since we have the bathroom more or less sorted out, we could stay here tonight,” Zayn said with a small shrug, a smile still dancing on his lips. “Although we'd have to sleep in the living room since our bedroom still smells like paint.”

Turning around in Zayn's arms, Niall cupped his face with his hands. He looked into Zayn's brown eyes, flickering in the candlelight and felt like his heart was about to burst.

“I love you, Zayn,” Niall said, his voice tight with emotion. “So fucking much.”

“I love you, too,” Zayn's smile grew even bigger as he leaned forward for a kiss. “Welcome home, darling.”

Instead of answering, Niall wrapped his arms around Zayn's neck and kissed him slow and deep. His back arched slightly when Zayn pulled him even closer, one of his palms sliding up his back to rest between Niall's shoulder blades.

“You think—,” Niall started, his breath becoming heavier with every peck Zayn was leaving on his neck. “You think we should christen the apartment?”

“Was hoping for it,” Zayn smiled wickedly, biting at Niall's collarbone and drawing a moan from his lips.

“Good,” Niall breathed out, grabbing Zayn's tights to pick him up before he turned towards the mattress.

***

The fourth time Niall remembered was when he was drunk. He promised himself he wouldn’t get drunk and he was doing quite a good job on controlling himself. But as the night went by it was harder to make up excuses for everyone who wanted to drink with him. So he stopped trying. He would be more disappointed in himself, but it was almost 2AM and most of the party had already went home. Besides, he hadn’t drank  _ that  _ much. It was the nerves, the constant stress that something would go wrong, the fact that he was barely able to eat anything—besides a piece of cake he shared with Zayn that gave him a sugar high he could still feel. So it wasn’t the alcohol. Or, well, not only alcohol.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts—and steadying himself against the wall on his left—Niall looked around the room. There was significantly lesser people but that didn't mean it became quieter. Quite the opposite, actually. It was nice, though. Niall felt proud that people were having fun, that was the point after all.

Niall—however—was lacking something quite essential for him to have fun. Determined to find that, Niall walked towards the epicentre of the party.

“Excuse me,” he said, smiling politely as he approached Zayn's two cousins chatting in the corner. “Have you seen Zayn?”

“No, sorry mate. Haven't seen him in a while,” one of them said. He looked apologetic, but his mouth quirked up in a smile.

Niall pouted. Wishing the boys a great night, he promised to catch them later and wandered off to continue his seeking. Trying to get through the room, Niall bumped into Deo and Laura twirling around the dancefloor. They stopped for a second after spotting Niall.

“Hello,” Niall said, hooking his arms around his friends’ necks. “I’m sorry to interrupt but—Have ye seen my husband? He’s very handsome and it’s hard not to notice him.”

“And yet, you’ve managed to lost him at your wedding reception,” Laura said, poking Niall’s cheek with a grin.

Niall took a step back with a gasp, an affronted look on his face. “I haven’t lost him!” he defended himself and then added, sadly. “I just don’t know where he is.”

“Aww, poor Nialler.” Deo cooed, tugging Niall into a hug. “Maybe he realised what a pain in the ass you are!”

“You think so?” Niall looked up, worried.

Before his cousin could answer that, Laura patted Niall’s back in a comforting gesture.

“He knew that earlier and he still decided to marry you, don’t worry. And I think I’ve seen him with Doniya a while ago, so you should ask her,” Laura said.

Leaving a loud kiss on both Laura’s and Deo’s cheeks, Niall wandered off towards the other side of the room, trying to find Zayn’s sister. Every few seconds Niall had been stopped by someone, but nobody knew where his husband was. Sadly, Doniya was nowhere in sight, either, even though Niall had scanned the dancefloor quite thoroughly. 

It was quite unusual that all the Maliks had disappeared all of sudden. From the very beginning Niall had the hunch that they weren’t a regular family. They were all too pretty to be real. Especially his Zayn. Maybe they had a time limit, like Cinderella did. And they all disappeared after midnight. Or 2AM. Although Niall was pretty sure that the original Cinderella only lost her clothes and a ride, not vanished completely. The Maliks had to have another kind of spell on them.

Deep in his thoughts, Niall walked towards the other room where the tables were located. A few people were seated here and there, although most of the guests went dancing. Looking around the room in search for Doniya or Zayn, Niall didn’t noticed someone walking in his direction. Only after he bumped into them, Niall looked down.

“Oh, sorry mad—mum,” Niall said, realising that he did know the tiny woman in front of him. “Hello.”

He straightened his back and cleared his throat, hoping he didn’t look as drunk as he felt. His mum only raised an eyebrow at him.

“Can’t even recognise yer own mother?” Maura asked.

“Just didn't notice you. You’re so tiny,” Niall grinned, leaning down to wrap his mum in a hug. He sighed. “I love you, ma.”

A snort escaped Maura’s lips, as she patted Niall’s head. “Well, yer drunker than I thought. What were you thinking about so intensely, before you've rammed yer poor mother?”

“I think Zayn's a Disney prince who disappears after midnight. His whole family does, actually,” Niall explained with a serious look in his face.

“I know it would be nice if yer husband turned out to be a prince, although I'm afraid that's not true,” Niall's mum said, a smile still dancing in the corners of her mouth. “Trisha and the girls are over there, if you don't believe me.”

Niall looked in the direction Maura pointed at with her chin. And indeed, three members of the Malik family were still there. One of them was Doniya, although Niall wasn't sure if he still remembered why was he looking for her in the first place.

“Go find your prince,” Maura said with a laugh. “And since you're part of that family as well now, try not to disappear. I was promised a dance with my son.”

“But I danced with you already,” Niall pointed out.

His mum only waved a hand at him dismissively. “I didn't mean you. The other son.”

“Greg left already with Denise and Theo,” Niall furrowed his brows.

“I meant the new one, Niall.”

Furrowing his brows even further, Niall blinked at his mother, not really sure if he followed. It took him a moment to catch that she was talking about Zayn.

“Ooh, OK. I'll remind him,” Niall promised, dropping a kiss to the top of his mum's head, before she waved him off with a smile on her face.

Letting go of his mum, Niall promised to get Zayn to her as soon as he finds him. And to do that, he made his way across the dining area.

“Oh, look! Here's the youngest Malik!” Safaa called as soon as she spotted Niall, grinning at him.

“Hate to break it to you, but that title still belongs to you, Saf,” Niall answered with pretend compassion.

She squinted her eyes at him, but before she could say anything more, Trisha stopped her.

“Aren't there any other ways to welcome Niall in the family?” Trisha sighed, looking at her youngest daughter.

“Oh, there are. Plenty. But that's funnier,” Safaa shrugged.

“Besides,” Doniya interjected, pointing her fork at her mum and then at Niall, “he should get used to it by now. He's stuck with us now. Forever.”

Trisha looked from one girl to another, without saying a word, before her eyes moved up to Niall. She shook her head.

“I'm so sorry, love,” she said, poorly containing her laughter.

“You're doomed!” Safaa yelled happily.

A grin was present on Niall's face from the moment he approached the Malik ladies and he felt a sudden rush of fondness after that short exchange. Maybe his mother was right. Maybe he really was a bit drunker than expected.

“Damn, I really should've read them terms of agreement before that wedding,” Niall tried to sound defeated and disappointed in himself. He knew he failed.

“You really should. I'll try to help and keep those little beasts as far from you as I can,” Trisha said, rubbing Niall's hand that rested on the back of her chair.

“You're the best, Trish. My favourite Malik,” Niall chuckled, although he meant it. A bit. “But speaking of little beasts. Did any of you seen my husband? I think I've kinda lost him.”

Doniya put down her fork and looked at the imaginative watch in her wrist. Looking back up at Niall, she said, “Well, that escalated quickly. It's been just a few hours, Niall. I don't know if I can trust you with my little brother, Niall. This is not what we've agreed for, Niall.” 

“C’mon, don't do that, you're making me worried for real!” Niall pleaded, jokingly. Or well, almost not jokingly at all. “Besides, I know from a reliable source that you've seen my Zayn not so long ago, so I know you're hiding him!”

Squinting his eyes, Doniya leaned forward, “don't talk to me like that, Horan.”

“It's not  _ just _ Horan anymore.” 

Placing his hands on the tabletop in front of him, he also leaned forward, looking down at his sister-in-law. She made the  _ I'm watching you  _ gesture a few times, before she finally cracked up a laugh. Messing Niall's—already way too messy—hair, she said, “He's upstairs. A while ago he was saying that he needs a moment to rest, so I escorted him to the bedroom.”

“Great, thanks! I'll go check up on him, then,” Niall said, taking a step back. “Love ya and I'll be back in a moment.’

Waving to the girls, he walked backwards towards the exit. He bumped into a chair, almost losing his balance and knocking out a bottle of champagne, but he was somehow able to save his dignity.

Quickly enough, he reached the hall and once again tried to assess his level of drunkenness. It was an essential question now that he had to choose whether he should pick the stairs or the elevator. After a minute of mindlessly looking from one to another, he decided on the stairs.

Climbing up just two flights of stairs was surprisingly tiring, but at least there was nobody around to see him struggle with catching his breath. On the short corridor, he easily found the door to their temporary bedroom. A bunch of balloons was lying sadly on the floor, halfway flat already. But they've looked pretty in the morning, at least.

Opening the door, Niall quietly sneaked into the dark room. Blinking a few times to get used to the lack of light, he moved closer to where bed was standing. It wasn't an easy task and he kept bumping into things he couldn't even recognise. He just hoped he wasn't breaking anything important.

“Zayn?” he whispered when his stretched out arms touched the soft mattress.

Sitting on the edge of it, Niall's hands roamed further and finally stopped on something warmer and a bit firmer. After giving it a squeeze or two, Niall decided it was probably a butt. He really hoped Doniya wasn't lying to him. How embarrassing would it be if it turned out that Zayn wasn't here and he was squeezing some random guy's ass. At that thought, Niall quickly moved his hands higher.

“Zayn, is that you?” Niall repeated a bit louder, squeezing at—hopefully—Zayn’s arm.

A low, questioning hum was the only answer he'd got, before the person on the bed rolled over onto their back. There were some more—rather inaudible—noises coming from them, before some words were being produced.

“Niall? Va ‘append?” Zayn asked, sleepily.

Zayn reached out to turn on the little lamp on the  bedside table, knocking some unidentified things in the process. Luckily, he managed not to knock down the lamp and he was even able to switch it on.

“Nothing, I've just been looking for you and didn't know where you go.”

“Sorry,” Zayn shifted some more. He rolled into his side and moved closer to Niall and  rested his head on Niall's knee. “I wasn't feeling good and I needed to rest for a moment. Should've told you.”

Cradling his fingers through Zayn's hair, Niall shrugged even though his husband couldn't seen him. A smile bloomed on his face again. “'S OK. Was just a bit worried. Do you feel better now, husband?”

“Much,” Zayn pressed a sloppy kiss to Niall's tight where his head was resting and Niall could see the smile blooming on his face. “Can't believe we get to call each other that, Mr. Malik-Horan. I love you. So fucking much.”

“I love you, too, petal. And I can't believe it, either. Although I had been warned that entering this family might not have been the wisest idea,” Niall chuckled.

A sigh escaped his husband's mouth, “Safaa?” Niall only let out an agreeing hum. “That lil’ monster probably thinks it's her duty to mess with you now. She’ll be bored soon enough.”

“Doniya’s not bored yet” Niall laughed and added. “And speaking of duties—my mum demands a dance with her newest son. So you should go and do that, because if no, I'd be the one being yelled at again.”

“But I don't like dancing!” Zayn whined.

“Then you shouldn't've make promises to my mother,” Niall pointed out.

Zayn whined again before pulling himself up into a seated position. “OK, I like your mother more than I dislike dancing.”

“Good. You would get disinherited otherwise. I’ve been threatened I would so many times.”

“Ugh, fine. Let’s go back in there,” Zayn sighed and slid out of the bed. “I mean I had the time of my life and I really enjoyed it—excluding the stress and anxiety and all that fun stuff—but I’m so. Fucking. Tired.”

Following Zayn out of the room, Niall tried to lock it behind them but then gave up after his fourth attempt in fitting the key into the keyhole. Taking Zayn’s hand, they walked down the stairs.

“I know, I’m knackered, too. Although, I wasn’t the one napping a few minutes ago,” Niall said with a grin on his face.

“I wasn’t napping, I was feeling bad and needed to lay down for a minute!” Zayn tried to defend himself. “Fuck you, Horan.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, why am I being degraded? I was a Mr. Malik-Horan literally a minute ago!”

“Maybe you don’t deserve it.”

Niall let out a loud gasp, putting his hand over his mouth. “That’s such a bullshit. I deserve this and more for putting up with you for all those years. Much more.”

“We’ll see about that later.”

“If you won’t fall asleep.”

“Shut up, Malik-Horan.”

***

The fifth time Niall remembered was when he was exhausted. Trying to even remember the last time he had a good night’s sleep was really troubling to him, if he was being honest. Waking up every two hours or so and then tossing in bed, trying to fall back asleep wasn't exactly his favourite thing to do. But it was fine. He knew it was going to be like that. And he still wanted it. He and Zayn both.

After the wedding, the topic kept going back every now and then so eventually, it was only a matter of time before they decided to adopt a baby. Now Shay was a bit over a month old, making her dads the happiest people alive and also depriving them of sleep almost every night. Niall still loved her more than anything else in the world. And he used to love sleep just as much, but he guessed priorities changed.

The worst part was that most of the time Niall was helpless. He had only a vague idea of what was he doing and that scared the hell out of him sometimes. It was hard to deal with all this. But at least he wasn't alone in this.

Surprisingly—or maybe not at all—Zayn turned out to be much better at dealing with colics or heat rashes. He always said that having a little sister was quite helpful, when it came to such things. It seemed like Zayn always knew what was happening, what to do and how to do it, while it took Niall a good while to learn how to even change the nappies properly. It frustrated him. But more than that, he was thankful to have Zayn by their side.

The clock on the nightstand read 4.15 in the morning when Shay's crying resounded throughout the quiet house. Niall jumped, blinking in confusion. It felt like he'd fell asleep five minutes ago and his brain didn't want to cooperate the way it should. Trying to untangle himself from the covers, he almost fell off the bed. 

But before he could do that, he felt soft lips pressing against his naked shoulder, leaving a small kiss there.

“'S OK, babe. I'll go,” Zayn whispered, sliding off the bed before Niall could even react.

He wasn't sure whether it was Zayn that was super fast or his brain's reactions were super slow at this time of the night. Somehow, he inclined towards the second option. Zayn was great, but Niall had never known how to handle sleep deprivation. For the last two nights he had been asleep for four hours in total. He tried to nap during the day, he sure did. Of course that was when he got a call from work and even though he ignored the first two attempts in contacting him, he picked up after the third one. Even though he much rather prefered to smash his phone on the wall. Niall wondered how it was possible that Zayn was handling it so well. Maybe his suspicions of his husband being a superhero were at least partially true.

Struggling to keep his eyes open, Niall listened to the quiet noises coming from Shay’s room. Zayn’s soft voice whispering something to their daughter, her little squeals in response, before Zayn gave her a bottle and then muffled steps when he carried her around, waiting for her to burp. It all worked almost like a lullaby for Niall. But then again, probably anything would affect him like that, he was so incredibly tired. He just prefered to fall asleep listening to their loved ones than anything else.

Unsurprisingly Niall must had drifted off, because he missed the moment when Zayn got back to the bedroom. Lifting the covers, he tried to slide under them.

“Scootch over a bit, bastard,” Zayn whispered, nudging Niall with his elbow.

Niall let out a deeply affronted mumble, before moving a bit on the bed. OK, maybe he did lay on Zayn’s side a bit too much, but that wasn’t on purpose.

“What happened with ‘babe’?” Niall asked.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Zayn was squirming next to him, trying to get comfortable. “How is this happening that she always burps immediately when you’re feeding her but I have to carry her for ages before she does?”

“Maybe she wants to spend more time with you?”

“Why in the middle of the fucking night?”

Stifling a yawn, Niall cuddled closer to his husband, resting his head on Zayn’s chest. “I’m afraid she doesn’t get the difference. Also how is this my fault, don’t call me ‘bastard’, you bastard.”

A small chuckle was the only response he got from Zayn. His husband wrapped his arms around Niall, keeping him close and dropped a kiss to his head. Niall sighed, contently. Hiding his face in Zayn’s chest he was ready to drift back to sleep.

“Despite what I’m saying—I’m really happy, Niall. Tired, too. Exhausted. But happy as fuck,” Zayn whispered into Niall’s hair.

“Me too, petal,” Niall whispered back with a barely-there smile. “And I’ll go the next time, promise.”

“‘S fine. I took a long nap when you were taking care of Shay in the afternoon. I’ll manage.”

“Still, we should take turns,” Niall said.

Or tried to say, since the only thing that came out of his mouth was incoherent, sleepy mumbling and he wasn’t even sure whether or not Zayn had understood him. He didn’t bother checking, though.

A few more minutes had passed, their breaths the only sound in the quiet room.

“Zayn?” Niall started, only a few seconds from dropping off.

“Hm?”

“I love you. More than anything.”

Because he could never be too tired, too drunk or too mad to say those words. And they could never be any less true.

“I love you too, Niall.”

 


End file.
